What are coping skills?
Dear Clients,
The term “coping” refers to a person’s ability to manage difficult situations in life. When we say a person is coping, we imply that they maintain a certain level of physical and emotional well-being despite their challenges. Coping further involves taking specific steps to ensure that a person’s mind and body are not overwhelmed by the negative things around them.
The way a person copes is described as "coping skills" and it is important to note that coping skills differ from person to person. Various aspects influence a person's coping skills including their past, learned behaviors, level of resilience, level of well-being prior to the incident, knowledge of self and others, etc.
Coping skills can be categorized into two different groups namely, healthy coping skills and unhealthy coping skills.
Healthy Coping Skills
This term refers to coping skills that build you up as a person and enable you to function optimally without any negative consequences. There are various types of healthy coping including, but not limited to journaling, exercise, spending time with family and friends, taking a walk outside, and deep breathing.
Healthy coping skills are therefore anything that will make you feel better about yourself and the situation when you are doing it AND after you've done it. It results in feelings of hopefulness and the belief that you might overcome the issue.
Unhealthy Coping Skills
This term refers to coping skills that are the complete opposite of those listed above. These coping skills are unhealthy, because they offer short term relieve (distraction) with long-term consequences. For example, drinking alcohol, using drugs, smoking, watching porn, spending hours playing video games, engaging in risky behavior and self-harming.
Unhealthy coping skills will mostly feel good in the moment and can make you feel good about yourself when you are doing it, HOWEVER they will always make you feel things such as shame, guilt, disappointment and self-loathing afterwards. (Note that this can include any negative emotion, not just the ones listed here.)
In summary
Many things combine to shape a person's coping skills and abilities stretching to childhood. In general, a good way to determine whether your coping skills are healthy or unhealthy is to evaluate it in terms of the question: How do I feel about telling others that this is the coping skills I use?
If you are unsure of whether your coping skills are healthy/unhealthy or if it is situationally appropriate, send us an email at info@zehira-kedesh.com to schedule your counseling appointment today.
Be blessed,
Zehira-Kedesh